Up and Gone (Complete)

[cludwig]

Well, it seems like Martin is slowly finding his way back into his old life, even going jogging. I am glad he is sticking to his gun, so to speak, by not talking about his experiences in Iraq before he is ready to do so. I think he is also slowly but surely making a little headway with Audrey.

[Bright Eyes]

I think Martin handled the 'speaking to the class' situation very well - though it never should have arisen in the first place. What was that teacher thinking?

Jemma is adorable - she's just so happy to have her dad back and wanted to show him off to her schoolfriends.
I think Martin is slowly getting there with Audrey too. She will get used to him being around.

[mcpro57]

Just got caught up on this story. I have been away from reading for about a week. These last few chapters were really good showing the fears and frustrations Martin would be feeling. Soldiers don't like to tlk about their time in a war. My nephew had very little to say and what he said was light but still not for really young children. My father who faught in WW11 has never talked about his time there in all those years.
Clair needs to remove herself from the picture for awhile . As long as she is there, she is a barrier to Martin and Audrey forming a close bond. She will learn from Jemma. Update soon.

[Broni]

Thank you all for your reviews I really appreciate it and love that you like the characters as I'm quite proud of them. I promise that more things will be happening (of course) as the fic goes on, and I am trying to update more though it's significantly harder as I was promoted at work recently and am now working a lot more! But never fear, there will be updates and the same old topics won't be as recurrent.

---

Dinner time came by soon after and Samantha still wasn’t home.

Martin figured she had a case to handle and would likely be out until late into the night. But while the girls were still awake, he sat with them in the living room after dinner and put on a favorite movie of theirs. He hadn’t seen nor heard of it before, but both Jemma and Audrey loved it. And it was a chance for there to be a little bit of quiet in the house.

Jemma had been rather animated since Martin picked her up from school. He chose to walk home with her as the school wasn’t too far away from their house, and as it turned out, that was a good choice. She was jumping and skipping around while singing and talking. She was hard to keep up with as her mind jumped from one subject to the next, but he was glad to be around her.

After school she sat down at her desk in her room and drew picture after picture, running around to find Martin wherever he was and giving it to him, insisting it be put on the refrigerator. By the time dinner came around, there wasn’t a spare spot to be seen on the fridge. But seeing bits of Jemma’s imagination all over the kitchen was reason enough for Martin.

Thank goodness she wore herself out though.

A whole night of Jemma running around the house screaming would honestly do Martin’s head in. Especially if this would be happening every single day.

Halfway through the movie both girls fell asleep and Martin took them to bed, aided by Claire. He stood at the doorway for quite awhile, just leaning on the doorjamb, watching both of his daughters sleeping soundly. He hoped that he wouldn’t be called away again. His troop was pulled out of duty, but at any moment he could receive another phone call or letter, informing him that he was leaving.

It was hard enough the first time, being told just a few days after his youngest daughter’s birth that he would be flying across the world to fight people he didn’t know for a reason he didn’t entirely understand. He vowed to protect his country though and had been trained to do so. It was his duty, and when they said jump, he always had to say ‘how high’. He didn’t have another choice.

But at the same time, there was no way that he could leave his family again. It was hard enough adjusting to life as a husband and father, not to mention an everyday citizen of New York. He prayed almost each moment now he was given a reprieve that he was free to live out his life the way he intended, with his friends, family and everything he knew.

Maybe if he prayed enough that would come true?

He certainly hoped so anyway.

“Hey you,” Samantha’s soft voice said from behind him, her arms wrapping around his waist from behind as she pressed kisses to his neck. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, just thinking,” he breathed, glancing back at her with a smile. “How was your day?”

She smiled weakly. “Tough. Tough and extremely tiring.” She rested her temple against his shoulder. “I’m sorry I wasn’t home for dinner. I tried to be but things just continued to pop up and I wasn’t allowed to leave them in the lurch. Jack figured now that you’re back everything was okay. Sometimes I want to use him as a punching bag.”

Martin nodded. “Please don’t, for all of our sake.” He rested a hand on hers. “How did the case turn out?”

“Not good,” she whispered, shaking her head. “I don’t want to talk about it, not now.” She glanced in the room at her sleeping girls. “How were they today? Didn’t give their old man a hard time?”

He laughed lightly. “Well I spoke to Jem’s teacher and agreed to go in sometime soon to speak to the class though I really don’t think it’s appropriate. And Audrey was… well thanks to Claire, really. It was hard.”

“Hard how?” Samantha questioned with a frown, moving around to stand in front of him, glancing in at Audrey all curled up in her bed, a teddy bear tight in her arms.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged weakly. “She doesn’t look at me much or talk to me. I know she’s only two, but it’s like she’s intentionally trying to ignore me. She stays close to Claire too. I got a few words out of her this afternoon but that’s about it.”

Samantha ran a hand down his good arm softly. “I know it’s hard, but this is what she knows. She knows that on a Monday Claire takes her to the park to be with her friends and then they run errands. She knows what to expect. Having a strange man with his arm in a sling claiming to love her more than anyone else is probably hard to understand for her, and not just because of her age.”

Martin nodded. “I try and tell myself that all the time, but it becomes harder to believe each time I look at her, knowing that she could wind up hating me.”

“That will never happen.” She kissed him softly before looking in the room. “Let me say goodnight to them and change. I’ll meet you in the kitchen and have some dinner, we can talk in there, okay?”

“Sure.” He sighed and walked away from the room, choosing to take a seat on the living room sofa, rubbing his head. He knew Samantha was right and he was likely overreacting, but just knowing that losing a daughter like this was tearing him up. He thought sacrificing his family for his country was a good idea. If only he knew about the possible aftermath.

Chances are he wouldn’t have signed up in the first place.

Shutting his eyes he couldn’t help but yawn, the stress and events of the day really having gotten to him. He lay down and only opened his eyes when he heard the TV being switched off and someone taking a seat near his legs, resting them on their lap. Opening his eyes he smiled weakly, seeing a bit of spaghetti sauce on the corner of Samantha’s mouth. “Did I fall asleep?” he croaked.

“You did,” she replied with a smile, “but its okay. It gave me a chance to eat all of my food without you stealing some, and to eat it hot. I can’t remember doing that around you before. Usually we speak so much our food goes cold.”

“Yeah we do, don’t we,” he mused, smiling weakly and reaching behind him, pushing himself to sit up with a groan. He motioned her towards him, kissing her where the spaghetti sauce was. “You had some leftovers on your lips.”

She smiled. “I can never reach my mouth.” She kissed him again before pulling away, looking at his arm. “Do you want me to change your bandage again?”

“Actually that would be good, thanks.” He sat back and waited as she got up and grabbed the bandages for his wound. He removed the sling his arm was in and then his sweater and shirt, getting seated and ensuring she’d have room. She came back with the supplies, getting ready. “It’s still bad.”

Samantha met his gaze. “I’ve seen worse.” She removed his bandage and sighed, dampening a washcloth and dabbing around it, removing excess dry blood. It still looked rather nasty but she knew that it was healing. Martin didn’t seem to be in much pain at least. That was a bonus. “Sorry if I hurt you.”

He held his breath, looking away, unable to see it again. He felt her clean around the wound and then dry it, before taping the gauze and bandage over it. She gave his shoulder a soft kiss and continued tidying things up, throwing the old bandage out in the trash and putting everything else away. “Thanks Sam.”

“Anytime… just don’t make it a habit of getting shot,” she teased, taking a seat beside him and leaning on his good side. He put his tops back on, wincing a bit before resting back, resting his good hand on his bad arm, trying to breathe through the pain. “I wish there was more I could do.” She stared at him worriedly.

“Me too.” He glanced at her with a small smile. “It will all get better with time.” She kissed him lightly with a smile, curling into him tight. Time had to be on his side.

[SamSpade]

Awwww I'm so glad we got another update It's hard to see Martin struggling with Audrey not really connecting with him yet. I'm sure with time she'll trust him, open up, and love him as much as Samantha. She's two though and it'll take an adjustment. Maybe if Claire wasn't there, as hard as it might be for Martin, it could force her to trust him more, bond better? Who knows

It's great that when Sam comes home he does talk to her and isn't completely shutting her out. She's still clearly worried about him and I love how she's so gentle, helping change his bandage. It's obvious she's in love with him. I just hope he doesn't get called back to duty!

[cateraina44]

This update was great.

I really loved all the narrative seeing Martin's thoughts without him actually talking to anyone. But I also enjoyed the conversation between Martin and Sam about Audrey. I honestly don't believe that Audrey could ever hate Martin.

I share the hope that Martin does not get called back to duty anytime soon. I don't want to slam Claire at all, but maybe it would be good if she found ways to make herself scarce more frequently just to allow Martin to have more time with the children and allow them(particularly Audrey) to depend on him more as a father not just as this strange guy who was away and now always hanging around.

As far as Martin and Sam as a couple go, I'm also very happy to see that they are talking more and able to share their feelings with each other like they might have been before he went away.

Keep up the good work! It is appreciated.

[maggie69]

The situation with Audrey is understandably painful for Martin, but Sam did a good job trying to explain Audrey's point of view to him.

[cludwig]

I agree with maggie69 about the Audrey situation. I am sure she will come around in her own time. LOL at Martin's thoughts regarding Jemma's energy and excitement levels. Kids sure can wear you out. I really enjoy the times Sam & Martin spend together. It is good to see that they are not awkward around each other and their genuine love for one another.

[Broni]

The week went by rather quickly.

Martin was engulfed in getting to know his family, the few friends he was game enough to reunite himself with, which were an incredibly select few, and his neighborhood. It was a slow process, but he found himself smiling when he would wake up in the morning. Wednesday he took great joy in spending time with his sister-in-law and daughter.

But the greatest day was spending Thursday with Audrey and Samantha while Claire went to her job as a teacher’s aide at a local elementary school. She was only needed at the school 2-3 times a week, so it fit well with Samantha’s schedule. And Martin was extremely happy to have Samantha with him and Audrey rather than Claire.

Not that there was anything wrong with Claire, she was a nice woman. She just wasn’t Samantha. She didn’t know Martin well enough. Before he was sent away, he and Claire were arguing quite a lot. That was when she was there anyway. She hadn’t liked the idea of Samantha marrying someone in the military and fought her almost the entire way on it.

And now that he had come back, she was acting incredibly nice and sympathetic to him. Somehow he had a feeling she still didn’t like that he had risked his life over there. She didn’t like the fact he had to leave shortly after his second daughter’s birth, hell neither did he. But it was apart of his duty. It seemed things would be tense for a little while longer.

Although already things were looking up, she was incredibly helpful to him.

When they went grocery shopping one afternoon she told him what they got and how much. She seemed very intent on showing him their way of life.

But when the end of the week came, Martin couldn’t be happier. He was glad that they would be together as a family and the spotlight wouldn’t be on him. Though Jemma was the one who constantly asked him questions and told him things about her life. She also was the one to fill him in on Audrey, seeing as Audrey wasn’t too forthcoming.

Things were going well though. He had stopped wearing his sling, only a bandage over his arm. And it didn’t look like he would have to have the bandage on for too much longer. Maybe a couple more weeks. The wound was healing rather well and he was taking good care of it, as was Sam. So hopefully after some more love and care, it would be much better and life would be greater.

As each day went past Martin felt a little bit more comfortable in his surroundings. It was still such a hard adjustment being back at home in a place he loved dearly. But readjusting was really hard on him, and he honestly didn’t think it would be this hard. He felt like a stranger, an invader. He felt like he was in Iraq again; put in a place he didn’t belong.

Though the people here were much friendlier and accepting than the Iraqi’s.

And the people here loved him, and he in return.

The greatest feeling swept through his body, however, when he stood on his family’s front door that Friday evening. His Uncle Roger and Aunt Bonnie had almost demanded they attend a family dinner that Friday night as they had almost every single Friday night since Martin had moved to New York. And just the thought of seeing his family again in recognizable settings was making him feel so great.

His hand remained locked in Jemma’s as Samantha carried Audrey. They stood at the door waiting for someone to answer. A few seconds later the door was flung open, and there stood Roger, his two daughter’s Jamie and Allison, and Jamie’s three year old daughter Ava in her arms. Each of them held huge smiles and their eyes were fixated on him.

There was silence for a moment as they all stared at him, so Martin cleared his throat and looked from one to the other rather uncomfortably. “Well we’re here,” he announced.

That’s when the greetings and exclamations of relief started. The Fitzgerald’s made their way inside, Audrey, Jemma and Ava quickly running off to Ava’s room to play before dinner while all of the adults almost harassed Martin about his time away. He sat on the sofa with his hand latched onto Samantha’s, doing his best to field their questions.

“Why didn’t you come home when you were supposed to?” his twenty-two year old cousin Allison questioned, staring at him with her big hazel eyes, curiosity her best friend. “I mean they said you were only supposed to be over there for four to six months, right? What changed?”

“We heard a rumor that one of the minor terrorist groups was working with the major one in setting up some public bombings,” Martin explained with a sigh. “The information wound up to be true and so we were forced to stay there, protect the city.”

Roger nodded towards Martin’s arm resting carefully on the arm of the chair. “When did that happen?”

“A little while before I came home.” He smiled weakly glancing at Samantha. “Good timing I know.” The others laughed lightly and Martin took that as his chance to glance around. “Where’s Aunt Bonnie?”

Allison cleared her throat and glanced at her dad. “She’s upstairs having a nap.”

Martin frowned. “A nap? Is she sick?”

That was when he heard the stairs creak and glanced back, spotting his Aunt Bonnie at the top of the stairs, staring down at him with a huge smile. Though at first, he almost didn’t recognize her. She was much frailer than what he remembered her to be. She wore a scarf on her head and was clutching onto the banister almost for dear life, the knuckles of her right hand white.

Something wasn’t right, he now realized. She didn’t look well at all. But instead of barraging the room with questions, he let go of Samantha’s hand after glancing at her and noticing the nervous look on her face, and walked to the staircase. He slowly climbed them up and felt his smile only grow seeing his aunt. She was one of the most amazing people in his life.

Instantly his arm wrapped around her tiny frame. She had definitely lost weight. “It is so good to see you Aunt Bonnie,” he breathed.

“Come with me, I want to talk to you,” she whispered, holding onto his sleeve and leading him towards her bedroom.

As he stepped inside, he glanced around with a sigh. It looked like she almost lived in there permanently. There was a television in there now, a DVD player, a huge bag on her side of the bed filled with wool and knitting utensils, and a tray on her nightstand with a pitcher of water and a cup half-filled with water and a straw bobbing up and down in it. “What’s going on?”

She sat and patted the bed beside her, smiling and taking his hand in hers. “There was some news while you were away.” She took a breath. “I don’t want you to get upset and this is the last thing I wanted to be the first thing I said to you when you got back, but you need to know. And don’t get angry with Samantha or Roger. I told them not to tell you. I wanted to do it when you got back.”

“It’s serious,” he stated, shifting to face her properly, trying to read the answer off her face. No such luck.

“I have cancer,” she breathed, looking at him. “I found out a few weeks after you left.” Martin felt his heart leap into his throat. Cancer? “At first treatment was working and I didn’t feel too bad.” She sighed with a small smile, watching him intently. “But a few months ago, we found out the cancer spread.”

Martin sat there silent, still, absolutely unmovable. “So… so what does this mean?”

Bonnie bought a hand up and cupped his cheek. “I’m so glad you’re back, and I got to see you again.” His eyes filled with tears and his head fell. He didn’t even need to hear her response. Immediately he knew what was going to happen… why her? This was not what he wanted to hear. He couldn’t lose her.

[maggie69]

That's very sad for Martin. He must feel cheated out of the last two years with her. I hope he's not angry at Sam for not telling him, but I could understand if he was. On the other hand, he has to understand that his family needed him to stay focused and worry about himself over there, not others back home.

[cateraina44]

I'm glad to see so many things in this chapter that I can't even begin to count them all. I'll try though.

The explanation of Martin's feelings on Claire being around and her feelings about Martin when M/S was getting married was very well done. The issues brought up were very understandable on both their parts.

It's wonderful to see that Martin's arm appears to be healing without any complications given that in previous segments it didn't seem so sure that he wouldn't have problems.

Martin's demeanor seems to be getting more positive being around his home and family again. I knew that would just take some time.

As far as the news about Bonnie. I'm really happy that you included the Tolands in this story. I know that on the show, Bonnie's cancer story happened years ago. But, it works here since having Martin not be there to hear the news with the rest of the family is one more bit of angst to keep things interesting. Especially since when "we" the viewers met her, the family had already known about the cancer. We never got to see Martin's initial reaction to the news though we saw it about the spread.
You covered it the scene so well that I can imagine it would have been like this on the screen if Martin had been away when Bonnie found out she was sick.

Terrific update! Please keep up the wonderful work!

[SamSpade]

wow! Martin didn't know his aunt had cancer? Poor Marty, that was probably not the best way to tell him. I hope he doesn't end up getting angry with Samantha and Roger about it. I'm surprised Jemma didn't blurt it out since he'd been home but it's not something that comes up during a casual dinner conversation either I'm glad he gets to spend time with his Aunt, especially as it seems she isn't doing incredibly well. Great writing!

[cludwig]

I feel terrible for Martin having to deal with this incredible blow just as he is starting to feel somewhat comfortable in his 'old life.' I am not quite sure how Martin is going to react to not having been told before, but I think he will (at least eventually) accept that Sam & Roger where following Bonnie's wishes. Besides, there unfortunately is not anything he could have done to help from over in Iraq.

Can't wait to see what you have in store for us.

[Greer]

Wow, you're really piling on the angst now, huh??! I feel so bad for Martin, trying to cope with adjusting back into family life and his worries about Audrey rejecting him and now Bonnie too!
Great updates, looking forward to seeing what's next for them all! Oh, and congratulations on the promotion hon!!

[Bright Eyes]

Doesn't it always seem like just as things start improving, something happens to pull the rug out from underneath your feet?

Poor Martin, I feel so very sorry for him. He's probably going to be angry that he wasn't given the news earlier, but what's done is done and he has to concentrate on being there with Bonnie, just like she wants.

I know things are very angsty at the moment, but I trust there will be a light at the end of the tunnel!

Really enjoying this Broni and I hope you get a chance to update soon - and well done you with your promotion!!!!