To Have And Hold * Complete!*

[rrsherlock]

Well, at least you updated before jetting off to a well-deserved (I'm assuming from your "real life") vacation. Just promise us you'll update when you get back!! I gotta know how Sam ditches Brian and gets back with Martin!! Danny was right on the money and poor Sam can't seem to think past Martin (knowing that Finn is safe, of course).

Enjoy your vacation and don't forget those of us stuck working!!

[specialfrog]

ahhhh...the wait will be worth it

[Bright Eyes]

Brilliant, just brilliant!

I'm so glad it was Sam who found Martin and I loved how gentle she was as she held him and reassured him he was going to be okay.
Poor Martin, I'm not surprised he thought he was imagining things - that he was dreaming Sam was there with him. It's a wonder he was still alive.

When Jack arrived, you could see Sam's exterior start to break a little as she anxiously waited on the medics to arrive. And Martin fighting against the restraints on the gurney really affected her.

As Sam spoke to Brian on the phone, realisation finally dawned on her.

But not what I need, a tiny voice spoke.

At last!!

Sam was a bit off with Danny, only because he spoke the truth about her and Martin - and she knew it. (BTW, loved Danny and his 'doth'!! LOL!!)
Sitting there beside Danny, it became so clear to Sam that she wanted Martin back.

Sam and Danny were shocked to hear about Felicity's 'surgery' on Martin and I loved Danny's line

“What?” Danny snapped. “Surgery? Removing a kidney kind of surgery?”

I couldn't help but laugh at this 'Dannyism'!

Hmm. Jack's suspicious about Sam's motives in wanting to see Martin and stay with him. He has a right to be suspicious.
I loved how you ended the chapter, with Sam by Martin's side and knowing she was meant to be there. Wonderful, wonderful stuff!

I hope you're having a wonderful vacation AJB and will be looking forward to your next update when you get back!!! ;D

[ajsqdaway]

TO HAVE AND HOLD by AJB

CHAPTER TEN

Spilling in from the windows at the end of the linoleum hallway, dawns light was only noticeable to Samantha when she blinked awake and saw that the nurse had turned off her desk lamp at the main nurses’ station. The second thing she noticed was the tall, steaming cup of coffee in the nurse’s hand. Samantha’s nose twitched and she contemplated theft.

Her life of crime was cut short when the annoyingly chipper form of Danny waltzed into the room, the only thing saving him from being put out of Sam’s misery being the two cups of coffee and bakery bag he bore.

He paused. “Sleeping Beauty you ain’t,” he quipped as his gaze raked Sam’s slumped form sprawled in the torturous plastic hospital chair.

“That,” she said nodding at the coffee, “is the only reason you’re still alive.”

Danny chuckled and, after surrendering the booty, turned a somber eye to the miserable form curled under the thin hospital blanket. Martin had twitched at the sound of Danny’s arrival, but there was no further motion after that except for his ragged breathing. The blankets shuddered rhythmically. A single IV line drooped over the far edge of the bed.

Samantha rubbed her eyes and felt every second of lost sleep. The pair sipped their coffee in tumultuous silence and studied their colleague. The team had the latest updated on Martin’s condition so there was no reason for discussion. Samantha wanted a vastly different kind of discussion, but only with Martin. She would just have to wait for now.

“I need to call Brian,” she muttered. “See how Finn’s doing and get the day arranged.”

Danny nodded and moved closer to the bed as Samantha slipped from the room. He peered down at Martin’s face and saw the telltale lines of pain around his eyes and mouth even in sleep. As he watched, his friend’s breathing changed and his eyes jerked beneath pale eyelids. Martin became frantic in his twitching.

“Martin?” Danny called softly before reaching down and gently shaking his shoulder. Martin’s breathing hitched and his body tensed suddenly. “Hey, Marty - wake up, man!”

With a gasp, Martin’s eyes flew open and he struggled to sit. Danny abandoned his coffee on the bedside table and held Martin down with both hands. Martin blinked rapidly, panting, and then locked gazes with his teammate, looking clearly confused and entirely startled.

“You’re okay now, Martin. You’re in the hospital.” Danny waited until the tenseness drained away under his hands. “You okay now?”

Martin stared at him for a moment before nodding shakily. He groaned as he sank back into the mattress and dragged a trembling hand over his eyes. “God, it hurts.”

“I can only imagine. You’re cut up pretty good.” Danny retrieved his cup and stood quietly while his friend pulled himself together.

“No,” Martin said, his voice raspy. “The other. My gut. I didn’t want it, Danny. She just gave it to me. I don’t want to go through that again. I didn’t want it.” He curled on his side and wouldn’t meet Danny’s eyes, sounding like he was trying to convince himself as well as Danny. Clearly, Martin wasn’t talking about his visible wounds or his imprisonment; this was about the drugs Felicity had forced on him.

“We know you didn’t want them,” Danny replied softly. “There’s no reason to be ashamed, Martin. You had no control.” Inwardly, Danny was a little alarmed that Martin blamed himself for any of what happened to him.

There was a long pause where Martin’s heavy breathing was the only noise in the room. Danny could tell he was trying to manage his pain. When he spoke again, Danny had to lean over to hear.

“I’m in a bad place, Danny. I was in a bad place when she took me. I . . .” Martin grimaced. He squeezed his eyes closed and sucked air between his teeth as he rode out a cramp.

Danny reached for the nurse’s call button. “You need something . . .”

Martin’s hand moved surprisingly fast as he stopped Danny. “No, don’t.”

“It doesn’t have to been addicting. Tylenol or something like that.”

“No. Nothing. Please. I don’t want it.”

Danny nodded and stepped back, waiting for Martin to gather his wits again. Marin rolled to his side with his back to Danny and curled slightly, careful of the thick bandages around his torso and the I.V. tether.

Danny turned when Samantha entered the room and she instantly read the concern in his face.

“I heard you talking. Is he awake?” She glanced at the bed.

“Yes, he’s awake,” Martin grumbled, his weak voice muffled from the pillow.

Samantha immediately moved to the bed and dropped the side rail. She leaned over, speaking softly with one hand on Martin’s shoulder while she gently combed through his short hair with the fingers of her other hand.

Surprised at the intimate posture, Danny suddenly felt like an intruder. He wondered if he should tell her what Martin said. Instead, he smiled when he heard Martin gruffly replying to Sam’s queries - Danny couldn’t hear the words, but recognized an interrogation when he heard one. A mom rather than an F.B.I. investigator, though, was running this one - he could tell by the tone. It made him smile and he made a decision.

Feeling wise, Danny tiptoed from the room and silently closed the door. He waved off the nurse heading for the room and asked her to give Martin a few minutes. She grudgingly agreed and moved on to the next room. Satisfied, Danny turned to leave and bumped into Jack.

Juggling his coffee cup with an exasperated gasp, Jack quickly got the cup under control and then gave Danny a sharp look. “Well?” he demanded. “How’s he doing?” Danny laid a hand on Jack’s shoulder and turned him back around. Jack glanced back over his shoulder to Martin’s room. “He asleep?”

“No, but he’s in good hands.” Danny explained, grinning. “He’s gonna be okay.”

---

Samantha sat quietly on the edge of Martin’s bed, gently stroking his temple. It felt incredibly soothing and it was a welcomed distraction from the painful cramps. When his stomach finally quieted, he exhaled deeply and his body relaxed. He felt clammy and his numerous cuts throbbed, but that was tolerable

“Are they getting any better?” Samantha asked softly.

“N . . . not really sure,” he whispered, closing his eyes in response to her caress. “M’head’s not real clear yet.”

“You’ll be okay soon.”
“Glad one of us thinks so.”

Sam’s quiet chuckle did more for him that any drug. Her rhythmic stroke through his hair was incredibly soothing. The pain of his wounds faded away and he hovered in a safe, comforting place, wishing to stay there until this was all over.

Martin’s thoughts drifted back through recent years in search of what went wrong. How did he get on the path that brought him here? When did that fork in the trail happen, and why did he take the turn he did? Scenes of his life played silently in his head, starting with his arrival in New York and the feeling that hit him when he’d first seen Samantha in the bullpen.

She was always there as he mentally moved forward, always nearby either physically or in his thoughts. Martin followed the trail of his history and realized she was simply a part of his life from the star of his life here. They both had grown a lot since that day - a silly thing, he realized, since they were both adults, but it was true. Having to live with hard choices did that to a person.

Right now, in these peaceful minutes, Martin knew he’d come full circle. Her fingers felt right on his skin. Familiar. Calming. He compared her touch to Kim’s - even before the betrayal, Kim’s touch was never like this.

At this moment, Samantha’s touch felt completely natural. She knew him like no other. Accepting that, Martin knew he’d just stepped on to another path, one not without its own obstacles and he no longer felt lost. Willingly leaving the cloying numbness of his safe place, Martin forced his eyes open and twisted his head aside, stopping when he met Samantha’s worried gaze.

He fumbled and captured her hand in his, holding tight as he looked for encouragement in her eyes. The relief he felt when he found it overwhelmed him.

“Sam?” he croaked.

“What?” she replied, becoming still.

“Don’t leave? Don’t leave again, okay? Stay with me.”

Samantha’ brown eyes glistened with tears and her soft lips quivered into a tiny smile. “Okay,” she rasped. “I’ll stay.”

Holding her hand in a sure grip, Martin pulled Samantha’s arm down and wrapped it across his chest so she could feel his heartbeat. He felt the mattress shift as she lie down alongside him, and felt her warmth as snuggling close against his back. Samantha wormed her other arm under him and hugged him close, her cheek resting on the back of his neck.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she promised.

This time, he knew it to be true.

FIN

Thanks for all the feedback! It is appreciated. I don't write a lot of romance, so I hope it wasn't disappointing!- AJB

[Bright Eyes]

AJB!! NO WAY was it disappointing hun!!! You should write more romance - you do it so well!!

What a wonderful final chapter!
I loved that Sam stayed by Martin's side all night and I laughed at the line about Sam contemplating a life of crime over the nurse's cup of coffee! I also loved the little bit of banter between Sam and Danny.

I'm glad Danny was there for Martin when he woke up. I think Martin would have found it harder to tell Sam about the effect the drugs had /were having on him.
And the way he turned away in the bed so Danny couldn't see shows he was embarrassed.

But when Sam came back into the room, Martin had no chance to hide. She obviously wanted to know everything and I loved how she lowered the bed rail (I like to see this as 'lowering the barriers' between them) and ran her fingers through his hair. Sigh! So lovely.

Nice of Danny to give them some space and to steer the nurse and Jack away from Martin's room. He's a great friend!

The last part was just perfect. I enjoyed every single line so much.
From Martin feeling so comforted by Sam moving her fingers through his hair; to his looking back on various times in his life and of course, Sam.
His realisation that Sam was the constant in his life and his hope that he would see a similar realisation in Sam's eyes.
And the very last bit, where Sam lies behind Martin and promises that she's not going anywhere - just beautiful!

I loved this fic from start to finish AJB and am I a bit greedy (or pushy) if I plead for an Epilogue??

Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with a cherry on top???

[ajsqdaway]

Epilogue? Hmmm...and you asked so nice I may have to do that!

Thanks, Bright Eyes for your detailed comments. They are always so insightful and great!

Have a good holiday if I don't post before that.

AJ

[rrsherlock]

Can I add an extra cherry and some chopped nuts to Bright Eyes' plea for an epilogue?? I guess I just need to tell you I love your story and don't want to see it end!

[ajsqdaway]

Hi all! Well, I thought I was done with this tale, but your requests for an epilogue got my brain going and I hatched an idea.

I guess it's not over, but it will be a few days. Or sooner, depending on how slow it is at work, lol!

AJ

[ajsqdaway]

Someone said "Epilogue" and brain took off.

TO HAVE AND HOLD by AJB

EPILOGUE

The sidewalks were remarkably clear for mid December in New York City. Darkened drifts were shiny as the day’s melt froze like icing on the slumped mounds. Martin was glad the center walkway was mostly dry; he was also glad to be rid of the cane he’d been using until the numerous cuts on the bottom of his feet were no longer tender. As he walked alongside Samantha – wearing hard soled shoes for the first time in awhile - he could still feel the tug of fresh scar tissue on his abdomen. The distraction was easy enough to ignore.

Sam pushed a sturdy pram and leaned forward to adjust the blanket that swaddled her son. “Stop it, Finn,” she ordered in a sing-song voice. “Can’t you just leave the blanket alone?” The request resulted in a playful squeal and mostly toothless smile.

“Some scolding that is,” Martin chuckled. “You’re just inviting him to play, talking like that.”

Samantha straightened and snorted. “Like you would know, Mr. Bachelor.”

“That’s Uncle Bachelor to you, young lady,” he chided. Raising one eyebrow, he leaned in and wiggled a finger at the chortling Finn. “And you, young man, are taking advantage of your mother.”

Samantha’s relaxed laugh warmed Martin and he reached over and took her hand.

“Hey,” she protested. “I can’t drive this thing with one hand.”

It was true. In fact, she didn’t do a very good job with two hands, either, Martin quickly pointed out. He ended up with an elbow in his side and thankful for his layers of winter clothing. He laughed and held his hands up in surrender. Samantha pursed her lips and returned both hands to the stroller and Martin opted to wrap an arm around her shoulders instead. By the way she sighed and rested her head on his shoulder for a moment, he knew it was acceptable.

“So Brian’s all moved into his place?” Martin asked as the walked.

“Yup.” She glanced at him. “Honestly? I think I'm gonna miss the adult company.”

“Really?” Martin said. “Well, I think that can be taken care of. When’s he picking up Finn on Saturday for their first play date weekend?” Martin asked as they walked.

Samantha chuckled. “’Play date’. Funny. He’s coming by around nine. Why?”

Martin gave her a sidelong look that sparkled with amusement. “You’re awfully nosy.”

“Comes with the job. You know that. So? Why?”

Martin smiled broadly and slowly shook his head. “You’ll just have to wait and see,” he teased.

When they rounded the corner, Martin had to press against Samantha to allow a jogger to pass. There was more foot traffic here, along with a small cluster of people that huffed into their hands and stomped their feet waiting at the bus stop. Martin guided her around the obstacles while Samantha playfully scolded Finn and again fixed the rumpled blanket. Halfway down the block, they stopped.

“Meet you here in an hour?” Samantha asked, turning to face Martin and standing well within his personal zone. He circled her waist with his arms. “Or in the bookstore over there?” She nodded across the street, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck.

“Bookstore,” Martin replied just before he kissed her nose. “No need to stand out in the cold, especially since the little guy isn’t being very cooperative about staying covered up.” He smiled and leaned around Samantha, ticking the baby’s feet as he spoke.

Finn laughed and kicked. The blanket flew off.

“Well, you’re a big help,” Samantha grumbled unconvincingly, and then her voice turned soft and serious. She sought out his eyes and caught his gaze. “You okay? It’s been awhile.”

“I’m fine. I need this.” He captured a kiss. “And that.”

She held up a finger between their faces. “One hour.”

After a moment, she circled is neck again and instigated another kiss. Martin intended it to be a quick peck, but the warmth and taste of her lips made him groan and close his eyes. He pressed harder and tried to draw her against his chest to deepen the kiss, but she gave just a little, teasing him, before abruptly pushing back.

“Keep that up and you’re going to be late.” Her voice was soft and husky, and her cheeks flushed.

Martin reluctantly released her. “Yeah,” he said, glancing at the doorway behind him with a sigh. “I’ve been gone too long already.” He stepped back and let his arm trail across her waist and along her outstretched arm, pausing to keep their fingertips joined seconds longer.

The smile she gave him was all the encouragement he needed. “I’ll be here,” she said quietly.

“I know,” he acknowledged.

They parted and Martin watched her cross the street. When she was safely on the other side, she briefly turned and waved at him. He waved back and grinned when Samantha’s attention refocused on the wayward blanket one more time before disappearing into the bookstore.

Martin turned and pushed open the door, standing aside and nodding an acknowledgement to a departing man. Once inside, he walked quickly down the hallway and slipped through a set of double doors at the other end. The people inside the room were just being called to order and Martin slipped into a seat in the front row.

He caught the eye of the man behind the podium and received a welcoming grin. After the man called the room to order, he motioned for Martin to come forward.

It had been a while. <i>Too long,</i> Martin admitted to himself as he stepped behind the podium and swallowed hard to settle the flutter in his stomach. He looked out to the group, cleared his throat, and spoke with the confidence that came with walking a welcomed new path.

“My name is Martin and I’m an addict,” he began.

And his new path was clear.

THE END

Thanks to everyone who read and commented!

[rrsherlock]

And yet you still leave the door open, AJ!! Really? "You’ll just have to wait and see" Come on, AJ! If you EVER want this to end, you've gotta close the loopholes!! I'm just as curious as Sam!

But seriously, great epilogue! I'm glad that Brian's not out of Finn's life, just Sam's! Super ending and I can't wait to read your next one!

[ajsqdaway]

Thanks! Now this ending is going to tumble around in my head until a sequel is born. Every path has its rough spots, right?

Until then, happy holidays to all!

AJ

[rrsherlock]

Sequel? Doth mine ears deceive me??? Coolness!

Happy Holidays to you too!

[Bright Eyes]

I have to humbly beg forgiveness for falling so far behind on my reviews - I'm mortified at my neglect - I think some should have been reviewed in mid-December!!!

So, here I go.....starting at the beginning, I'm gonna catch up.....


AJB,

After begging for an Epilogue, I never got to review it......until now!

I don't have to tell you how much I loved this fic and I adored the epilogue just as much!

As Dublin is currently attempting to rid itself of freezing temperatures and melting snow, I was really able to appreciate your descriptions of the walkways, joggers and shivering passengers waiting for a bus!

It was so good to see Marty making a recovery - we knew it would take time. Ooh, his poor feet!
I love the little family scene of Martin and Sam out walking with Finn in his stroller and the banter between Martin and Sam is so sweet! Marty took his life in his hands though with his comment about Sam's stroller driving!!

I liked the way we got to know that Brian is out of the picture, but still in Finn's life. And loved Marty's teasing about what he had planned for Sam that coming Saturday. (Marty, what do you have planned for Saturday?)
And Marty is so good with Finn - even if Sam wasn't impressed! LOL!!

I like the way you kept the purpose of their trip undercover, so to speak, until after Martin and Sam had their 'moment' in the street. That was so sweet, the way Sam was concerned about him and assured him she was there for him.

After his terrible ordeal and the feelings of guilt over being drugged, how appropriate to see him seek out the place to help get the last part of his life back on track. It's so typically Martin and very true to his character. I love that.

And I have to say, another thing I loved about this Epilogue, is that it leaves things wide open for a Sequel!! Yay!! (Well spotted RR!!)

Seriously AJB, I really did love this story and if you get around to writing a Sequel, or any other fic, you have a guaranteed reader right here!!!

Congrats and well done hun!!!

Bright Eyes x

[ajsqdaway]

Thanks so much, Bright Eyes! Your reviews are always so detailed and very much appreciated - I like to hear that the characters are 'on spot'.

I'm sure you were crazy busy like the rest of us during the holidays and i'm grateful you took the time to write a review. You are fabulous!

Hope your New Year is starting off well!

AJB

[Cindy]

AJB,

I'm not sure if you are still around... but I just want to drop a note that I really enjoyed this story. I just loved how it was very Martin centric... with a nice M/S ending at the end...

Poor Martin... The guy sure doesn't have it easy... but I'm glad that Sam was there in the end for him...