Thinking of You ~*~COMPLETED~*~

[spade]

Olivia is a smart kid, hopefuly she'll put Sam and Martin in good terms.

[Rat]

great update. i'll post a better reply when i get home. im at work. im being bad by being on here.

[rrsherlock]

Hey Rat, at least you can access from work! I'm blocked (or is it that we've blocked the children???)

Awesome update, SamSpade!! I'm glad Sam swallowed her pride and called Martin. Having Olivia in her life is important, but adult companionship is even more important for healthy mental balance!

Keep up the fantastic writing!

[cludwig]

So good that Sam & Martin talked on the phone and decided to go to dinner on Saturday. Love the relationship Sam has with Olivia, who sure is one smart young lady. Looking forward to the Martin/Sam dinner and conversation.

[SamSpade]

Chapter 12:

Samantha tried her best to hide her nerves from Olivia. She didn’t want her daughter to see how anxious she was feeling at seeing Martin again. Though hopefully tonight would prove better than last night.

“You look scared,” Olivia buckled into the front seat with her mom, staring at her intently.

“Just a little nervous. Do you know how long it’s been since Martin and I had a quiet dinner together and talked?” She glanced at her daughter.

“You won’t run out of things to talk about,” Olivia shook her head as Samantha started the car and pulled out into traffic. “Besides if you can’t think of something just tell Marty that you’re desperately and madly still in love with him.” Olivia giggled grinning at her mom. “We all know it’s true.”

“Olivia,” Samantha shook her head watching traffic as she headed away from the city.

“What?” Olivia smiled at her mom. “I’m excited to see Ava again. Plus I like Marty, he seems nice and he let me come to dinner with you.”

“Is that why you don’t like Jack?” Samantha guessed.

“Well I’ve barely ever met the old guy but yeah. You never let me meet him. You shouldn’t have to date someone in secret, mom. That’s not normal.”

Samantha couldn’t help but laugh, “would you happier if I broke up with Jack?”

“Can you break up with someone you’re not technically dating?” Olivia shrugged. “If you dated Marty I’d be happier.”

“Why is that?” Samantha listened to what her daughter had to say. After all, her decision to not date and jump in on a relationship had been because of her concern for Olivia’s well-being.

“He used to make you happy when I was little. When he was gone you talk about him like you miss him and still love him. I think you’d be happier with him around. Then I’d be happier too. Plus he’s nice and when I was little he gave me a coloring book and a teddy bear so I always hold out hope he’ll buy me more presents.”

“Olivia!” Samantha laughed. “I’m not dating anyone so you get presents.”

“Fine,” Olivia smiled rolling her eyes. She looked so much like Samantha, even her demeanor with such actions. “I just think he’s better for you than Jack. Even if he does leave again,” Olivia sighed, “I’d hate him for it but for awhile if you were happy, isn’t that worth it?”

Samantha didn’t say anything, glancing at her daughter she knew there was much truth in her words. Finally pulling up at the Tolands home, they both got out of the car and headed up the driveway, knocking on the door.

“Now I’m nervous,” Olivia whispered to her mom, reaching for her hand.

“There’s nothing to be nervous about. They’re good people and you’ll have a nice time.” She squeezed her daughters hand and watched as the front door opened.

“Hi Samantha, Olivia.” Jamie ushered them inside, taking their coats and watching as they removed their shoes. “It’s good to see you both again.” Jamie gave Samantha a hug before bending down to Olivia’s height. “You’ve grown a lot!”

“Ava has too I bet,” Olivia smiled reaching out for Jamie’s hand letting her lead the way. “Can we have pizza for dinner?”

“You sure can,” Jamie led her into the living room where Ava was playing with her barbies. “Ava this is Olivia.”

“Hi.” Ava smiled up at Olivia. “Do you want to play with me?”

“Sure!” Olivia sat down across from Ava.

Samantha watched the exchange from the hallway, glad to see Olivia and Ava were getting along and playing together. It would make for an easier evening out with Martin if she wasn’t worried about her daughter.

“Hey there,” Martin smiled coming down the stairs. “I thought I heard the door.”

“Have a good night you two,” Jamie smiled giving her cousin a hug, “don’t do anything I wouldn’t.”

“Funny, Jamie.” Martin laughed shaking his head. “Are you ready to head out?”

Samantha nodded, “yeah. Let me say goodbye to Olivia.” She headed into the living room, giving her daughter a hug and kiss. “I’ll be back later. If you need anything you know my cell phone number.”

“Bye mom.” Olivia was more than happy to play with Ava. It gave her a new friend.

“Should I drive?” Samantha asked Martin as they headed outside. She noticed he didn’t have a car.

“I can borrow Jamie’s car if you’d rather me drive?”

“No, that’s not necessary,” Samantha shook her head, pulling out her keys and unlocking the doors. She sat down in the car, “I can’t believe you’re letting me drive,” she laughed remembering years ago him picking on her for it.

“Don’t really have much of a choice.” He laughed, “I sold everything of mine when I left for Paris.”

“Everything?” She started the car, glancing at him quite surprised.

“I have a few box of mementos I asked Jamie to keep in the attic. Plus there’s the few items she confiscated from me before I could sell them.”

“Like?”

“My dresser, television, the fridge.”

“The fridge?” Samantha laughed, “you owned that in your apartment?”

“Yeah,” Martin nodded. “You didn’t think that actually came with the building?” It had been top of the line, a gift from his father when he joined Missing Persons. Not that he particularly needed a fridge but his father hadn’t known what to get him. It was a nice gift all the same.

“I didn’t really think about it,” Samantha pulled away from the curb and onto the road. “Should we head towards the city?” She didn’t know where anything was in the suburbs.

“There’s actually a really good restaurant around here, if you don’t mind staying local.”

“No that’s fine,” Samantha shook her head, “you direct me.” She followed his directions, arriving in about twenty minutes. There was no way they could have done better to get downtown. Heading inside the restaurant they were seated right away, another luxury they wouldn’t have had downtown. “You’ve eaten here before?” She asked Martin, glancing over the menu trying to decide what to order.

“Years ago. While we were dating I went out with Jamie and Ron here. They wanted me to invite you out with us but I didn’t think you’d go for it.”

“Oh, sorry.” She grimaced knowing he was probably right. “Well I’m glad we’re out now. Any recommendations?”

“I think I had their fish the last time, it was pretty good. I can’t really remember which kind.” He laughed.

“I’m sure I’ll find something,” she eyed the menu, everything sounded so delicious! The waiter came over and Samantha gave him her order along with a glass of red wine, wanting to relax and unwind. Olivia wasn’t here so she didn’t feel as though she was setting a bad example.

“I’ll have the same,” Martin nodded towards her suggestion of the wine and then ordered his own meal, handing their menus to the waiter.

“So,” she smiled weakly feeling slightly nervous and uncomfortable. She never imagined this was how she’d be feeling with Martin across from her. All the years she’d dreamed up this very occasion and this was now how she pictured it. Not that the restaurant and the atmosphere wasn’t perfect. She just, felt awkward.

“You invited me out to talk,” Martin nodded sipping his wine, staring at her, “anything in particular?” He knew there was so much to talk about but thought best she lead the conversation tonight. The last thing he wanted was to jeopardize any ounce of remaining friendship left between them.

“I just, I want to clear the air. Figure things out,” she gestured, waving her hand around. She let out a heavy sigh, trying to word what she wanted to say. “For five years, Martin, I’ve been wondering about you leaving for the CIA. If I’d have told you I wanted to try again would you have still ran off. I know what you said last night, about needing to get away, about the background check taking so long you didn’t think the job was yours. Were you planning on telling me you were looking for other work? Or just leave when you’d accepted something?”

Sighing he knew the conversation couldn’t have been over the night before when she’d asked. It was too easy to skirt around the issue. “I probably would have turned it down if you’d have wanted more,” he breathed, knowing it probably wasn’t something she wanted to hear, or maybe it was? “I really just needed a break from us. The lines of friendship were getting blurred, I was over all the time, the feelings were growing, and I wanted to accept that just friends would work but trust me Sam, it wasn’t working for me.”

Nodding she stared at him, “did you think it was working for me?”

“I didn’t really think about it. You seemed like you had it all together.” He shrugged. “As for when I’d tell you I was looking, I wasn’t going to tell you until I found a job. I knew you’d be mad at me for leaving, insisting to me that I didn’t have to go. That we could be friends throughout all this just like you and Jack had been.” Martin’s eyes held hers from across the table, “I really did want more from you and I kept having these dreams that wouldn’t go away. It was torture.”

“Sounds awful,” she smiled shaking her head.

“Oh come on. You’ve never been in love with someone and it wasn’t returned?” He asked.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Martin. I loved you too. I wanted more with you. I wanted to raise a family together, to have you in our lives but I didn’t want to push you into becoming a father overnight. It wasn’t the role you had to take on and I thought it would be best if we took things slow. I thought you’d be happier that way. You’d still be in our lives, it’d be gradual and as Olivia and I bonded you and me---we’d figure it out.”

“That’s not what you said five years ago.” Martin stared at her blankly.

“Well you sort of dropped your feelings on me like a bomb. I had no idea how to respond. I just knew Olivia had to be my focus and I thought you would understand and accept that. I thought we’d be okay as friends, move towards more, gradually, when I was used to being a mother.”

“I didn’t know that.” Martin sighed, “so I guess I screwed up my big chance, huh?”

Smiling weakly she reached across the table, taking his hand, “I don’t know about that.”

He stared at her hand on his, trying to let his brain comprehend what this all meant. It’d been five years. Things had changed, they’d changed. Would this really work now? “We should probably take things slow.” He guessed knowing there wasn’t any other way. Five years left them strangers but still friends, an odd combination but jumping into bed would turn disastrous. They’d both learned that much.

“Friends first,” she squeezed his hand. “We can plan on having lunch at the Bureau once a week after you get your feet planted.”

“That sounds reasonable,” he nodded having hoped to see her more than once a week but knowing that wouldn’t be realistic with their jobs and Olivia having school. “So does that mean, you’ll break it off with Jack?” He couldn’t help but ask. He knew he was treading into dangerous waters but he had to go there.

“We’re not dating yet,” she stared at Martin. “Are you asking as a friend?” She didn’t really care how he felt if he was asking because he was jealous.

“Yeah, as a friend,” he nodded seeing how she was playing this. “I just don’t want you getting hurt.”

She laughed darkly shaking her head, releasing her hold on his hand and sipping some more wine. “Then don’t do anything to upset me and I won’t get hurt.” She really was truly afraid he’d leave again. If he did, she wasn’t sure how she’d recover a second time.

[Rat]

great update. at least the dinner is going good.
she's willing to give them another chance. slow is the best thing for them.
olivia will be happy. please say that sam will stop seeing jack.(puppy dogs eyes)

[sayo]

Great update. At least they cleared the air on some issues. Olivia sounds very mature and wise for her age.

[Broni]

Well I'm glad Ava and Olivia began getting along as if they'd been playing together all their lives! And that Olivia was preoccupied enough to let her mom leave with Martin I thought the questions would never end! And as for dinner... well, it was kinda awkward. I think jumping back into something would be a bad idea. Five years is a long time and so many things (and maybe feelings?) have changed. They need to gradually get to that point, see if feelings are still there ready to come back to life or not.

And seriously Sam, everyone's telling you to dump Jack. Do us all a favor

[PlainJaneIAm]

Great update. I'm glad they've decided to be friends at least. I just hope Martin doesn't do anything to mess it up this time. Can't wait for the next chapter...

[Bright Eyes]

I can't believe how quickly you're posting updates with this one Samspade!

Chapter 10 - Wow, Olivia sure blew up at Sam because she threw Martin out. And she really hates Jack. But I'm glad the two of them made up, and I loved how Olivia cuddled her teddy bear that Martin gave her 5 years ago.
Danny is a true friend to Sam - he offered to give up his Saturday night for her!!! And, he gives good advice - not just telling Sam to break up with Jack - but also telling her to sit down and sort things out with Martin.

Chapter 11 - Thank goodness Sam didn't chicken out and she actually called Martin and arranged for them to meet. I'm glad he knew he was out of line with what he said to her about Jack. Olivia was delighted her mom and Martin were having dinner that night. I loved the way she asked Sam if she'd be sleeping over at Jamie's house!

Chapter 12 - Loved the conversation between Sam and Olivia during the car journey to the Tolands! Olivia teasing Sam that she still loves Marty and saying she hopes they'll get back together again so he'll buy her more presents! And I loved it when she called Jack 'the old guy'.
Martin and Sam found it easy to talk up until they had given their order in the restaurant.
And when they did start to talk about things, they must have wondered if things would have turned out differently, if they'd only they'd had more time 5 years ago.

But they've made a start again, so hopefully things will get better from now on.

Terrific updates Samspade - I'm really loving this fic!!!

[cludwig]

Whoohoo, dinner was really successful, especially considering where they came from the night before.

Olivia surely is one smart gal and way mature. Seriously, most times I think she's a teen when I hear her talking to Sam.

Loved that Victor gave Martin a fridge as a gift when he came to NYC. Perfect gift for a food lover like Martin.

And yes: Sam, please break off whatever you wanna call what you have with Jack.

[lanny]

awesome update ;D

[SamSpade]

Chapter 13:

“I had a really great time tonight,” Samantha laughed as they pulled up in the driveway to the Toland’s house. Martin turned the car off, stepping out first and walking around helping Samantha to her feet.

“You don’t drink very often, do you?” The smile on his face was huge.

“Stop laughing,” she giggled quite tipsy. It was why Martin had driven them back.

“I don’t think you should be driving home tonight.” Martin helped her to the door, waiting before letting her inside. He dug out the keys from his pocket.

“Are you suggesting I spend the night with you Marty?” She teased him, clearly she’d had too much to drink. It had been a good night though. After they’d had dinner he’d surprised her by taking her dancing. There was a club across the street and taking her hand they’d gone inside. Together they moved to the music, his hands against her hips, tickling her skin. She needed another drink and Martin was the perfect gentleman in ordering them each one. He’d had almost as much as she had but it’d been awhile since she’d had anything with liquor in it. She wasn’t expecting to feel it so soon.

“I’m thinking I should drive you and Olivia home,” Martin nodded. “Just friends, remember?” The last thing he wanted was her angry with him tomorrow. It was easier to keep things platonic now than fix the mess made in the morning.

“But Marty,” she ran her hand down his chest, “I want you.” She did want him, for the last five years she had been wanting him. “I think about you whenever I’m with him.” She purred into his ear, giggling again.

His eyes were wide, realizing driving her home with Olivia in the car would not be the best idea. “Just, sit tight.” He helped her sit down on the porch and he sat with her, pulling out his cell phone and dialing Jamie inside. He knew if he opened the door, Samantha probably wouldn’t contain herself---whether it be throwing herself at him because she’d been drinking or announcing something embarrassing in front of Olivia. He was trying to save them both from humiliation and more questions.

“Hello?” Jamie answered the phone, cleaning up the pizza in the kitchen.

“Hey Jamie, it’s me.”

“Marty? Is everything okay?” Jamie paused what she was doing.

“Sam’s a little, drunk,” he laughed unable to keep it quiet. He was going to tell his cousin she was under the weather but he just knew Sam would probably steal the phone and tell Jamie otherwise.

“Oh,” Jamie smiled quite surprised. “Do you want me to make up the spare room?”

“Maybe for Olivia,” Martin nodded. “I was going to drive Sam home.”

“And how will you get back here?” Jamie asked raising an eye.

“I can take a cab if need be.” Martin shrugged, “I’ll worry about that later. I just wanted to make sure you were okay with keeping Olivia tonight.”

“It’s fine. I don’t think she’ll be disappointed,” Jamie laughed, “right now they’re playing dress-up and putting makeup on each other. No tears in this house tonight.”

“Good,” Martin breathed a sigh of relief knowing Samantha would be glad to hear it as well. “I’ll see you later Jamie.”

“Or tomorrow,” she smiled having the sneaking suspicion he wouldn’t make it home tonight.

“Goodbye,” he laughed hanging up the phone. He wasn’t going to explain himself to his cousin. “Come on,” he helped Samantha to her feet. “I’m taking you home.”

“Really?” She laughed, “to my bed?” Her eyes lit up. “I’ve dreamed about doing these things with you.”

Martin helped Samantha to her feet, wrapping an arm around her waist watching her feet a bit unsteady. He opened the car door, helping her inside and watching as she struggled before finally clasping the buckle. He shut the door and walked around, getting into the drivers side before turning the car on. He didn’t really say much to her on the drive home, hoping she’d sober up.

“Marty,” she tilted her head staring at him. “You’re quiet.”

“Just trying to remember the way to your apartment. It’s dark.” He hoped that’d settle her down for a little while.

“Oh. I like the dark,” she smiled, “it’s more romantic.” Her hand reached out, finding his thigh her fingers inching up before he rested a hand over her palm. “You don’t want to?” Samantha whined. “I thought you still loved me. Isn’t that why you took me dancing? I could feel you Marty, on me. I know you want me.”

“You felt that?” He had hoped she hadn’t in the club but it would be a miracle if she hadn’t seen or felt it poking her.

“Of course,” she smiled through heavy eyes. “I always feel you even when you’re not there.”

“You’re drunk,” he laughed shaking his head pulling up the car to her apartment. Turning the car off he walked around, helping Samantha to her feet and inside, using the keys to let her in.

“I’m tipsy.” She corrected him with a laugh, holding onto him for support to walk. She was definitely drunk.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this way,” he smiled helping her inside and locking the door behind him. He helped her out of her coat and watched her drop her shoes to the floor heading to the bedroom.

“Coming Marty? Or being the perfect gentleman and waiting for me?”

“Funny, Sam.” He smiled shaking his head. “I know you think you want this but you don’t.” He knew it couldn’t and wouldn’t happen. “I’m going to grab some water. You should get changed for bed.” He hoped she could handle that on her own.

Martin headed to the kitchen, taking a few minutes to give Samantha time to change. He grabbed her a bottle of water and some aspirin knocking on the bedroom door.

“Come in,” she sat on the bed beneath the covers.

“Take this,” he offered her the pills and the opened bottle of water.

“You’re not poisoning me, are you?” She teased taking the pills, examining them for a moment before swallowing them along with the water.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Martin smiled sitting down on the bed beside her.

“Lay with me,” she asked him, curling onto her side.

“Sam, I don’t think---“

“I know,” she answered feeling the room spinning and becoming increasingly more aware of her surroundings. “Just,” she closed her eyes and let out a heavy sigh. “I could use the company. For a little while.”

“For a little while,” he repeated, taking off his coat and shoes before moving to lie above the covers beside her. He shifted onto his side, facing her watching her breath in and out, her eyes still shut.

“Thanks,” she was surprised and grateful he wasn’t running out. “Kiss goodnight?”

Laughing he leaned in kissing her cheek. “Goodnight, Sam.” He was glad she was feeling no pain but he hoped tomorrow morning she wouldn’t be hungover and desperately prayed she wouldn’t somehow blame him for this.

[Broni]

Wow, she really is a lightweight isn't she? That's really strange for Sam and I hope she doesn't get any ideas during the night or in the morning, especially about blaming Martin for anything! I think considering her state, he did wonderfully

[Rat]

great update. sam being drunk like that would be funny to see.
martin is being a gentleman and not doing anything.
i hope sam doesn't freak out in the moring when she notices olivia's not there. im sure martin will leave her a not about that.
sam shouldn't blame martin if she's hungover in the morning. its not his fault she's a lightweight