Post by SamSpade on Nov 3, 2008 13:54:10 GMT -5
Title: Thinking of You
Author: SamSpade
Rating: R
Summary: Five years is a long time to wait for the one you love.
A/N: Just bare with me, okay? I promise it’s like a band-aid. You’ll see what I mean. The song is by Katy Perry. The lyrics were perfect for the sequel of Bleeding Love so here it is. It’s not necessary to read the first story BUT it might help you follow what’s going on. Isn’t that true for all sequels?
Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed
You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know
Five years. She doesn’t know why she counts the day, the anniversary every year of Martin leaving Missing Persons. It’s not as though it’s an anniversary she wants to remember. Guilt wrecks her mind, wondering if it was something she had done to make him change from the FBI to the CIA.
She still can’t stomach the thought of him leaving, the day he actually said goodbye. It’s too much to bare, too much pain to resurface and with each day buried it deeper within. One year turned to two. Two to four and four was now gone. Five years since he’d left and her heart hadn’t mended itself. She’d tried, God she’d tried. She’d done everything imaginable. It wasn’t as though she wanted her life to turn out the way she had but these things happened. Had saying she loved him changed the outcome, she would have done it. It wasn’t that simple. Martin had made up his mind long before he came over her place for dinner and admitted how he felt for her. It was a decision he’d made a long time ago and they both had to live with it.
She just hoped he was managing better then she had been. Moving on wasn’t something she’d been good at.
“Mom!” Olivia called from down the hall watching as Samantha fixed her makeup in the mirror.
“You should be getting ready for school,” Samantha watched her daughter in the bathroom mirror from behind her.
“I have another twenty minutes and Ms. Hendrickson’s picking me up for school.”
“You have something afterschool today?” Samantha turned around, watching Olivia intently. Staring at her brown eyes, the freckles showing through on her cheeks, she was the splitting image of Samantha, especially as a child.
“Science Club,” Olivia nodded. “Though I’m not really looking forward to doing our Family Tree.”
Samantha sighed. She still hadn’t told Olivia that she was her biological mother. Olivia was smart though and the resemblance uncanny. Samantha wondered if she suspected it. “I’ll help you when I get home from work.”
“You’re going to be late again,” Olivia answered matter of factly.
“A lot of times I am late,” Samantha nodded, “I know you don’t like having a sitter but you’re not old enough to stay home alone and you know how my job is.”
“That’s not the only reason you’re late, Mom.” Olivia crossed her arms. “Uncle Danny told me.”
“What exactly did he tell you?” Samantha raised an eye, staring at her daughter inquisitively.
“Well I know you’re dating for starters and he told me who. It’s that married boss.”
Samantha sighed, “he’s not married,” at least he wasn’t this time around. “I just don’t want to bring him home until I know for certain the time’s right. I don’t want him disappointing you.”
“Like Marty?” Olivia sighed rolling her eyes. “You know, I actually miss him. He was good for you, mom. Not this loser boss you can’t even bring home for me to meet. You were never shy about me meeting Marty.”
Samantha stared at Olivia, “I can’t believe you remember him.” She wasn’t much more than two when he left for the CIA.
“Of course I do,” Olivia shuffled on her feet, letting out a heavy sigh as her eyes dropped. “He was the first crush I had. I remember his eyes, they were bright blue and in case you’ve forgotten, I still have the teddy bear he gave me when we first met.”
“It’s on your shelf,” Samantha nodded thinking it over, “I wish I knew where he was Olivia.”
Shaking her head, she couldn’t believe her mother. “You’re the FBI! How can you not find him?”
Heading out of the bathroom, Olivia followed her mother. “It doesn’t work that way sweetheart,” Samantha shook her head. “He’s deep undercover. Even if I could find him, I could expose him, get him killed. We both don’t want that.”
“No,” she sighed shaking her head. “Do you think he’s even still alive?” Olivia asked. “Five years is a long time, Mom.”
“I hope he is but I haven’t heard anything. Though I imagine his family would contact me if they heard anything. At least I hope his cousins would,” Samantha shrugged. She had taken his word at face value when he left, hearing him tell her the first trip he made back he’d visit. Five years though, was a long time with no visits, no calls, no letters. She wondered if something horrible really had happened to him. She didn’t want to think about it, it was time to move on, and yet she couldn’t.
“Did I ever meet his family?” Olivia asked following her mom into the kitchen as she poured herself a cup of coffee.
“Once when you were very young.”
“Well I gathered that since he left when I was two,” Olivia rolled her eyes. “He’s such a coward.”
“Olivia,” Samantha sighed, warning her daughter not to talk about it anymore. It was very much a sore subject.
“What?” Olivia shrugged. “I call it like I see it. He left without so much as saying goodbye, to even me.”
“He said goodbye to me,” Samantha countered, shaking her head. “I mean there wasn’t any real warning, it was all the same day but he didn’t just leave a note or not do anything.”
“I guess,” Olivia sighed grabbing her backpack. “June should be here soon.” At the mention of her best friends name, there was a knock at the front door. “I got it!” Olivia headed to the door with her backpack slung over her shoulder. Every day, Olivia and June walked to the bus stop together. Most mornings June’s mother accompanied them as well. Standing a few feet behind them, so she wouldn’t impose. It was at June’s insistence she let Olivia and her talk in private. Samantha always got a kick hearing about it all from June’s mom.
“I’ll see you tonight,” Samantha walked over, giving Olivia a hug goodbye.
“Goodbye, Mom.” Olivia rolled her eyes trying to pry herself away from Samantha’s grasp. “I’m going to be late.”
“No you won’t,” Samantha laughed knowing the bus wouldn’t be coming for another ten minutes. “Did you grab your lunch?”
“Yes,” Olivia nodded. “Bye.” She headed out the front door, shutting it behind her as the two of them headed down to the bus stop together.
“Yeah, bye.” Samantha sighed wondering when things became so chaotic. When Olivia was younger she felt as though they were best friends. Of course Olivia was her daughter and at some point she had to be a parent to her but still…it was probably good Olivia had made friends in Kindergarten with June. She’d been quite lonely until they’d met.
Author: SamSpade
Rating: R
Summary: Five years is a long time to wait for the one you love.
A/N: Just bare with me, okay? I promise it’s like a band-aid. You’ll see what I mean. The song is by Katy Perry. The lyrics were perfect for the sequel of Bleeding Love so here it is. It’s not necessary to read the first story BUT it might help you follow what’s going on. Isn’t that true for all sequels?
Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed
You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know
Five years. She doesn’t know why she counts the day, the anniversary every year of Martin leaving Missing Persons. It’s not as though it’s an anniversary she wants to remember. Guilt wrecks her mind, wondering if it was something she had done to make him change from the FBI to the CIA.
She still can’t stomach the thought of him leaving, the day he actually said goodbye. It’s too much to bare, too much pain to resurface and with each day buried it deeper within. One year turned to two. Two to four and four was now gone. Five years since he’d left and her heart hadn’t mended itself. She’d tried, God she’d tried. She’d done everything imaginable. It wasn’t as though she wanted her life to turn out the way she had but these things happened. Had saying she loved him changed the outcome, she would have done it. It wasn’t that simple. Martin had made up his mind long before he came over her place for dinner and admitted how he felt for her. It was a decision he’d made a long time ago and they both had to live with it.
She just hoped he was managing better then she had been. Moving on wasn’t something she’d been good at.
“Mom!” Olivia called from down the hall watching as Samantha fixed her makeup in the mirror.
“You should be getting ready for school,” Samantha watched her daughter in the bathroom mirror from behind her.
“I have another twenty minutes and Ms. Hendrickson’s picking me up for school.”
“You have something afterschool today?” Samantha turned around, watching Olivia intently. Staring at her brown eyes, the freckles showing through on her cheeks, she was the splitting image of Samantha, especially as a child.
“Science Club,” Olivia nodded. “Though I’m not really looking forward to doing our Family Tree.”
Samantha sighed. She still hadn’t told Olivia that she was her biological mother. Olivia was smart though and the resemblance uncanny. Samantha wondered if she suspected it. “I’ll help you when I get home from work.”
“You’re going to be late again,” Olivia answered matter of factly.
“A lot of times I am late,” Samantha nodded, “I know you don’t like having a sitter but you’re not old enough to stay home alone and you know how my job is.”
“That’s not the only reason you’re late, Mom.” Olivia crossed her arms. “Uncle Danny told me.”
“What exactly did he tell you?” Samantha raised an eye, staring at her daughter inquisitively.
“Well I know you’re dating for starters and he told me who. It’s that married boss.”
Samantha sighed, “he’s not married,” at least he wasn’t this time around. “I just don’t want to bring him home until I know for certain the time’s right. I don’t want him disappointing you.”
“Like Marty?” Olivia sighed rolling her eyes. “You know, I actually miss him. He was good for you, mom. Not this loser boss you can’t even bring home for me to meet. You were never shy about me meeting Marty.”
Samantha stared at Olivia, “I can’t believe you remember him.” She wasn’t much more than two when he left for the CIA.
“Of course I do,” Olivia shuffled on her feet, letting out a heavy sigh as her eyes dropped. “He was the first crush I had. I remember his eyes, they were bright blue and in case you’ve forgotten, I still have the teddy bear he gave me when we first met.”
“It’s on your shelf,” Samantha nodded thinking it over, “I wish I knew where he was Olivia.”
Shaking her head, she couldn’t believe her mother. “You’re the FBI! How can you not find him?”
Heading out of the bathroom, Olivia followed her mother. “It doesn’t work that way sweetheart,” Samantha shook her head. “He’s deep undercover. Even if I could find him, I could expose him, get him killed. We both don’t want that.”
“No,” she sighed shaking her head. “Do you think he’s even still alive?” Olivia asked. “Five years is a long time, Mom.”
“I hope he is but I haven’t heard anything. Though I imagine his family would contact me if they heard anything. At least I hope his cousins would,” Samantha shrugged. She had taken his word at face value when he left, hearing him tell her the first trip he made back he’d visit. Five years though, was a long time with no visits, no calls, no letters. She wondered if something horrible really had happened to him. She didn’t want to think about it, it was time to move on, and yet she couldn’t.
“Did I ever meet his family?” Olivia asked following her mom into the kitchen as she poured herself a cup of coffee.
“Once when you were very young.”
“Well I gathered that since he left when I was two,” Olivia rolled her eyes. “He’s such a coward.”
“Olivia,” Samantha sighed, warning her daughter not to talk about it anymore. It was very much a sore subject.
“What?” Olivia shrugged. “I call it like I see it. He left without so much as saying goodbye, to even me.”
“He said goodbye to me,” Samantha countered, shaking her head. “I mean there wasn’t any real warning, it was all the same day but he didn’t just leave a note or not do anything.”
“I guess,” Olivia sighed grabbing her backpack. “June should be here soon.” At the mention of her best friends name, there was a knock at the front door. “I got it!” Olivia headed to the door with her backpack slung over her shoulder. Every day, Olivia and June walked to the bus stop together. Most mornings June’s mother accompanied them as well. Standing a few feet behind them, so she wouldn’t impose. It was at June’s insistence she let Olivia and her talk in private. Samantha always got a kick hearing about it all from June’s mom.
“I’ll see you tonight,” Samantha walked over, giving Olivia a hug goodbye.
“Goodbye, Mom.” Olivia rolled her eyes trying to pry herself away from Samantha’s grasp. “I’m going to be late.”
“No you won’t,” Samantha laughed knowing the bus wouldn’t be coming for another ten minutes. “Did you grab your lunch?”
“Yes,” Olivia nodded. “Bye.” She headed out the front door, shutting it behind her as the two of them headed down to the bus stop together.
“Yeah, bye.” Samantha sighed wondering when things became so chaotic. When Olivia was younger she felt as though they were best friends. Of course Olivia was her daughter and at some point she had to be a parent to her but still…it was probably good Olivia had made friends in Kindergarten with June. She’d been quite lonely until they’d met.